Yes, an update...

I have recently had a couple of people ask if I was ever going to update my blog again, so I figured it was about time that I did so. It has been a couple of months, after all.

Senior year has been good. I know that seems like such a simple, nondescriptive word for last 3 1/2 months of my life, but it really is the best adjective for it. Good. I have really enjoyed my classes, which are all in the social work/sociology/psychology areas. The workload is not as heavy as last year, and I find the materials to all be quite interesting. One exciting thing in regards to acadamia: I had the opportunity to go to Indianapolis with one of the social work professors and two other students for the North American Association of Christians in Social Work Conference back in October. It was awesome! The workshops were great and very though-provoking. Most of them had to do with integrating faith and the social work profession. I learned a lot about a variety of topics and had a ton of fun.

Another exciting thing happened in October... my brother, who is in the Army and is currently stationed in South Korea, surprised us all with a visit! :) We had no idea he was coming; he literally showed up on the doorstep. He was back for about 2 weeks and spent a few days with me up at Dordt. It was great to see him again. He only has a couple of months left over there, and then he moves to Georgia (the state, not the country). I am just glad he will be on this side of the world again!

The rest of my family is doing well. Not a whole lot new with them. My sister is in high school now. Crazy. Dad still enjoys preaching, driving the bus, and feeding people. Mom somehow puts up with both Hannah and Dad and keeps things in order at home. :) She also continues to homeschool Hannah.

I only have two and half weeks left at Dordt. I can hardly believe it and am not exactly sure how I feel about it. Part of me is very excited. I am really looking forward to Chicago next semester (by the way, I am working at Rice Children's Center, a residential treatment center for children with behavioral and emotional problems... I am so excited!) yet I am also dreading saying goodbye to people. I do not want to leave my roommates or my other friends. And I am really sad about leaving the nursing home that I work at. I love the residents. Plus I have an amazing church home here. Despite the pig smell and the flatness of it, I have somehow come to love Sioux Center. Perhaps I will stay in the Siouxland area after graduation; I am not sure yet. Part of my heart is still in Denver, though, too, and Alaska, for that matter. I have thought about going onto grad school right after Dordt, where I would probably study geriatrics (working with the elderly) but I think I am ready to be done with school for a while. Still waiting for God's leading on that one. For now, I am doing my best to focus on the present, enjoying the time I have left at Dordt and trying to get all of my end-of-the-year projects done. ;)

Even though Thanksgiving has come and gone, I pray that we are able to continue to count our blessings. We have so many. Love and Prayers.

The Question

I am two days into my senior year at Dordt and I have already begun to hear the question, “Do you know what you want to do when you graduate in May?” To be honest, the idea of looking for a job and leaving Dordt scares me. While I think I am ready to be done with school and begin work, I do not know what I want to do yet. I am not sure what population I want to work with or even which state I will move to.
Here is the biggest issue: I am not sure I want to do “professional” social work. When I began college, I chose social work because I love people and want to serve them. More than anything, I want to live out my faith and share Christ’s love and hope with those who are hurting. I feel like social work is the most practical way I can live out my faith and follow God’s commands to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27) and “act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly.” (Micah 6:8) (Not that you can’t do those things in other careers; you certainly can. I just felt that this was the field I personally could best live them out.) The very core values of social work fit perfectly with what Scripture call us to: service, social justice, dignity and worth of human beings, importance of human relationships, integrity, and competence.
That being said, I am terrified of having the “stigma” of being a professional. Next semester, I will be doing the “Professional Semester” in Chicago. Though I am excited about it, I am also not looking forward to it. I don’t necessarily want to act (and dress) like a professional. But more than that, I also do not want the relationships I have with the people I serve to be “I am the professional and you are the client.” So I took four years of college and will have a degree—big whoop. I don’t want people to think I think I am somehow better than them because of that. Of course, I am thankful for the knowledge I have learned and the education I have received, I just am not sure how to use it in a way that does not cause a division between me and the people I work with.
This summer I really learned that what I want to do with my life is incarnational ministry—living among those I serve and being on their level. I remember how some of the family advocates at Joshua Station would talk in frustration about the way some of the social workers acted towards the residents. It seems like many of the social workers viewed the residents more like cases to be handled than beautiful, individual human beings with stories and strengths and families. My biggest fear in social work is that I will begin to see human beings—created in the image of God—as cases to be handled.
If, as a Christian, I am called to “walk as Jesus did” (1 John 2:6), how do I do that as a professional? Jesus was not a professional in a place of power (though He had immeasurable power as God’s Son); rather, he served and loved the people around Him in a very humble way. He ate with them, got dirty with them, and died with them. He did not have a 9-5 schedule and certain professional boundaries with the people. He did not dress in slacks and nice shirts and make appointments and refer to the people as “cases.” His service and love was a lifestyle, not a career. I guess that is what I am getting at. I don’t want social work to be my career; I want it to be my lifestyle. I do not want it to be a 9-5 job, I want it to be a 24/7 job. I don’t want to be professional; I want to be passionate.
So where will I be in 9 months? Only God knows. What do I want to do when I grow up? Love my God and serve the people He puts in my life. As for the details, I will trust God and wait.

Summer Book List

When I was not working at Joshua Station, going to classes, exploring the city, and hanging out with the other interns this summer, I was reading! Here is the list of all of the books I read this summer or am in the process of reading. If you are looking for a good book, I recommend one of the following: (my top three recommendations have *s next to them)

With Justice for All--John Perkins
Prayer of Jabez--Bruce Wilkinson
Butterfly in Brazil--Glenn Packiam
Just Courage—Gary Haugen
*Crazy Love--Francis Chan
In the Name of Jesus—Henri Nouwen
The Enneagram Made Easy--Renee Baron and Elizabeth Wagele
The Work of His Hands—Ken Gire
*Windows of the Soul—Ken Gire
To Own a Dragon—Donald Miller
SexGod—Rob Bell
Jesus for President—Shane Claiborne
Mother Teresa: Her Essential Wisdom—Carol Kelly-Gangi
Skin Game—Caroline Kettlewell
*The Noticer--Andy Andrew

Between Chapters

I have now been back home for about 2 weeks. I left Denver with so many great memories and amazing new friends. I learned and grew a lot. I am not sure I could ever really put into words on a silly blog all of the things I experienced and felt over my two months in Denver, but here are a few of the big lessons I learned this summer:

*I learned the importance of knowing a person's story. Every single person has a story to tell. One of the ways I learned this was by doing interviews at Joshua Station for families who were interested in the program. Each person had a different story with pain, joys, strengths, and weaknesses. You cannot judge a person until you know their story and where they come from. Another way I learned the importance of story: one of the things all of us interns did over the summer was to share our life stories with each other. I have never experienced a group of people being so vulnerable with each other before. Why can't we all be more vulnerable and authentic with each other? By listening to each of the other interns' stories and by sharing by own, I learned just how connected we all are and at the same time, learned to appreciate diversity in personalities and experiences even more than I did before.

*I learned to live the mystery and not try to find all of the answers. So often, we search for answers to the question of "why?" We try to explain God and life and things that are really beyond our comprehension. In one of our classes in particular (Street Psalms) we talked a lot about lamenting the brokenness in the world. We don't have all of the answers and never will. In fact, the more we study the Bible and learn about the issues in the world, we just come up with more questions. The solution is to simply live the mystery and trust a God whom we can never fully comprehend.

*I learned the importance of soul care, which is especially important in ministry to prevent burn out. In our class, Leading from Within, we learned tools we can use to care for our souls and be healthy individuals. One of the tools was taking an Artist Date (basically a date by yourself, doing something you love, like making something, watching a movie, or taking a walk. The possibilities are endless). We also learned the importance of journaling, solitude and silence. In addition, we learned spiritual practicies such as Centering Prayer and Lecto Divina. (Google them to learn more...it would take me too long to explain them here, but they are great!)

I will blog more as I do more processing and journaling. Now I am trying to shift gears as I prepare for my Senior year at Dordt. To think: 9 months from now I will be done with my college career and looking for a full time job. Crazy. Exciting. Scary.
All I can do is live the mystery and take the hand of my God who has led me this far.

They say that pictures speak more than a thousand words, so here are a few photos of some of my favorite people and memories from Denver:

Picture Captions:

1: Me, Bella, and Lizzy (a couple of Joshua Station kids) at Arts in da Hood day camp, where I helped the last week I was in Denver

2: Alex, Bella, Lizzy

3: Me with my friend and mentor, Rebakah

4: Me, Hannah, and Gina at Estes Park

5: Gina, Connie, Me, and Hannah at the Botanical Gardens

6: Downtown Denver from the air

7: All ten interns with the DUS director, Greg

8: Jenny and I on our helicopter ride

9: Me and Penny, the director of Joshua Station

The Summer is Coming to a Close

A lot has happened in the last couple of weeks. There have been some amazing high points and some very sad low points.
High points include the opportunities I have had to build relationships with the families at Joshua Station and with the other interns and staff. This week I am helping out at a day camp for kids called Arts in the Hood. On Monday I drove a few of our JS kids. It was fun to hang out with them and watch them interact with the other kids at the camp. I am going again on Wednesday and Thursday. Another highlight from the last couple of weeks was going on a helicopter ride over the city. There is a man in Denver who owns/flies a helicopter and takes people from different ministries over the city to pray for the city. It was amazing. All of us interns got to go. Seeing the city and people from above was a reminder of how small we are, and how much more amazing that makes the fact that God loves each of us individually and has a plan for us.

The last few days have been really hard here at Joshua Station. On Sunday, one of the JS kids, an 8 year old boy named John, was killed when he road his bike onto a busy road and was hit by a taxi. The whole community has been in shock and mourning. John was such a funny kid, with lots of energy. I worked with him a little bit at kid's club and saw him around JS all of the time. Tonight we did a memorial thing at Kid's Club, so the kids had space to grieve. We talked about death and favorite memories of John. Then the kids made cards for his parents. Finally, we let a bunch of balloons go outside and said goodbye to John. The whole thing really sucks and doesn't make any sense. Please pray for John's parents, Pam and John Sr., as well as the JS community (especially the kids).

A lot more has happened in the last couple of weeks, but my mind is kind of fuzzy right now. I will try to fill in the blanks later. This week has really been a time of closure and goodbyes. I am really going to miss the people here. I have talked to the director about coming back next year. We'll see where God leads.

When did June turn into July??!!

I guess it has been a couple of weeks since I have posted an update. The last couple of weeks have been amazing. Again, for the sake of organization, I will go by categories…

Internship: I have not been working at JAMLAC too much the last couple of weeks; I have spent most of my time at Joshua Station. I have continued to attend the staff meetings and the Family Advocacy meetings. Last week, I helped clean out and organize the supply closet, which, if you know me, is right up my alley, since I love organizing things. I also have been doing a lot of research and calling around to find a Spanish translator to work with our family advocates, as well as someone who can teach the advocates Spanish. We have a couple of families here who primarily speak Spanish and a family moving in that only speaks Spanish and it is hard for the advocates to really assist those families with a language barrier. One thing I have decided this summer is that I really want/need to learn Spanish; it would definitely come in handy.
One additional thing about my internship that has been awesome: I have been able to spend a lot of time with my mentor, Rebekah, who is the administrative assistant at JS. At the beginning of the summer, each of us interns was assigned a mentor to meet with on a weekly basis and walk with this summer. I am fortunate in that I get to see my mentor throughout the week, since she also works at JS. Rebekah has been such a blessing to me. She is very encouraging and fun to be with.

Classes: I really do wish this was a semester program. (They are planning on turning it into one in the future.) Each class is crammed with so much information to process. I am continuing to learn a lot about challenges in urban America and how Christians should respond. I am also learning a lot about myself and the importance of soul care. I will expand more on this concept in a later blog. I have a feeling this post is already going to be ridiculously long.

Mom’s Visit: My mom came to visit me over the 4th of July weekend! She arrived the night of the 2nd and left on the 6th. I was able to take her to some of my favorite places around Denver. We also attended an Arts Festival and spent some time in Downtown Denver. On the 4th, we went down to the Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. The park is beautiful with amazing rock formations. We hiked around a bit and took some cool pictures. We then spent the rest of the afternoon in a small town near Colorado Springs called Manitou Springs. Sort of a hippy town, Manitou Springs has a ton of unique little shops and restaurants. This was one of the best 4th of July’s I have ever had. It was so nice to spend some time with my mom, even though the visit was short.


Retreat: On Wednesday, all of we interns and the DUS director, Greg, went on a retreat up in the mountains. It was amazing. We were in a cabin with no running water or electricity, surrounded by trees and mountains. And the cabin had a woodstove! I am convinced that there is no greater smell in the world than waking up to the smell of a wood stove. The location reminded me so much of Alaska. We had some really good bonding times together. We also learned and practiced the spiritual exercises of Centering Prayer and Lecto Divina. On Thursday, we spent much of the day in silence and solitude. I was able to walk around in the beautiful forest by myself and do a lot of reflecting, reading, and praying. It was nice to spend some time with God in the silence with no distractions. I feel like one of the things He is teaching me this summer is to slow down and really listen to what He is trying to teach me in the world and people around me. During our solitude time, I also had the chance to watch and feed some chipmunks. They were so cute and I almost had one eating out of my hand. (Probably not smart, I know, but whatever.) Thursday night we all went to visit a little town called South Park (it has nothing to do with the cartoon). It is basically set up like a mountain town from the 1800s, with lots of cool buildings and houses to walk through including an old-style blacksmith’s shop, general store, saloon, and bank. It was so cool! Afterwards, we all went out to eat. Friday morning we hiked up a mountain; it was gorgeous. The mountains were spectacular and the ground was covered in wildflowers. It boggles my mind how someone can look at the beauty of the Earth and believe it all happened by chance. After spending a relaxing afternoon at the cabin, we came back to Denver Friday night. The whole retreat was such a blessing.

Prayer Requests/Praises: First of all, my sister arrived safely in Haiti! My parents received a letter from her last week and it sounds like she is doing well and experiencing a lot already. I am so proud of her for being there and I know this will be a time of growth and maturing for her.
Please continue to be in prayer for Carlos and his wife, Diane. (I mentioned them in my last post.) Diane is now out of the hospital, which is a miracle, but they have to amputate her foot due to the infection. Continue to pray for her health and peace for them both.
My car was finally fixed and is no longer overheating! Praise God! Hopefully it will not have any more issues this summer…
You can also be in prayer for the new families we have at Joshua Station. Pray that they might adjust well and really flourish here.

I’ll end with a quote I received during my retreat, which I have found to be very true:
“God has never changed for He always remains the same. But since we’re never fully capable of knowing who God is, what He chooses to reveal to us is always changing. And as result, changes what we know about Him, often offensively changing who we thought He was.”

Another week come and gone...

Another week has come and gone. So much has happened this week; I hardly know where to begin updating you. I guess I will just go by categories:

Internship: Last week at Joshua Station was very similar to the week before. I helped out with some filing at JAMLAC. On Wednesday, I got to go to court with one of the attorneys and a client he was representing regarding her ex-husband’s parenting time with their son. It was different from what I expected. The court room was very small and the only people there were the judge, the two parties, her attorney, me, and two other people. It was interesting to see our justice system in action.

At Joshua Station, we are continuing to do interviews to figure out which families will be moving into the empty apartments. All of the stories of the potential residents are so different and sad. Some of the people who are homeless have made bad decisions in the past that have led them to their current situation. But many of the people who come to us simply have experienced unfortunate circumstances that were beyond their control. Becoming homeless is really something that could happen to any of us. We are all just a pink slip away or an eviction notice away from ending up in the shoes of the people at JS. The people here are normal people, just like you and me. It has been humbling to get to know them and their stories.

One of the things that has really been a blessing with working at JS is the chance I have to attend the MileHigh staff meetings every Tuesday morning. We are currently going through a book by Ruby Payne, who has written several books on poverty and societal issues. The book is called What Every Church Member Should Know About Poverty and talks a lot about hidden class rules and values. Her stuff is very controversial and we have had some really good conversation about how to best work with the poor.

Classes: The classes this past week were so good. In my Friday class, Street Psalms, we talked about how we read the Bible and barriers that keep us from really encountering the Word. Barriers include hyper-personalism, domestification, reductionism, isolationism, heroism, moralism, and dualism. It was very helpful for me to be able to recognize these barriers in my personal Bible reading time.

In the Monday class, Leading from Within, we finished going through the book In the Name of Jesus (great read—I recommend it for all Christian leaders) and had a Jesuit priest come talk to us about Ignatius spirituality. The topic is not something I was very familiar with, but it was good to learn about. On Monday after class, one of our teachers led us on a walk around Denver and told us about gentrification and how Denver has been changing over the last few decades. Gentrification, for those of you who don’t know (because I didn’t know before yesterday) is when people with money renovate a run-down, impoverished part of town, increasing the land value. The result is that many impoverished people are displaced to the outskirts of town because they cannot afford to live where they used to. This has happened a lot in Denver and it is difficult to know how to respond to the problem. One of the things that has been difficult for me here in Denver and in many of my social work classes in the past 3 years has been the realization that many of the problems in society are big, complex, and really do not have easy answers. This can be frustrating for me, as I am a fixer and like to see hope in every situation and work towards a solution.

Weekend: On Friday night, I and three of the other interns drove up past Boulder to Nederland, CO, where we went hiking and camping. We went for a short hike on Friday, then set up our tent and made hot dogs and s’mores over a fire. Saturday morning, after eating breakfast at a neat little café, we went hiking again. We went way up a mountain, until we were tromping through snow. It was gorgeous—lots of mountains, streams, waterfalls, and trees. Though I love the city, I am a nature girl at heart and it was so refreshing to be out in the woods again. The weather was perfect, too; it didn’t start raining until we were heading home. On the way back, we stopped in Boulder, which is a really cool town with a lot of unique shops. The weekend was refreshing and just what I needed.

Overall: As you can probably tell by what I have been writing, this summer has given me a lot to think about. I have been stretched, challenged, and at times, frustrated. But I have also been so blessed by the relationships I have built and the awesome experiences I have had. It is going to be really hard to go back to Dordt for another semester of classes. But… next spring I get another amazing opportunity… I get to do my senior internship in Chicago! I just received my official acceptance letter! I am super excited!

Prayer Requests: First off, I ask that you pray for my sister, as she has completed her “boot camp” training at Teen Missions and is now in Haiti. She was able to call home the other day and was sounding quite homesick. Please pray for her as she experiences new, challenging situations in a foreign country.

Also, please be in prayer for Carlos, one of the staff members at MileHigh Ministries. His wife is extremely sick and is in intensive care at the hospital. She has a strep infection, which has been very damaging because she does not have a functioning spleen to fight off the infection. Please pray for complete healing for her and comfort for her and Carlos.

Finally, my car is having issues again. It overheated again tonight and I will have to call the mechanic again tomorrow. I am hoping it is something that is easy to fix again.

Thank you for your prayers and support. God Bless.