The Question

I am two days into my senior year at Dordt and I have already begun to hear the question, “Do you know what you want to do when you graduate in May?” To be honest, the idea of looking for a job and leaving Dordt scares me. While I think I am ready to be done with school and begin work, I do not know what I want to do yet. I am not sure what population I want to work with or even which state I will move to.
Here is the biggest issue: I am not sure I want to do “professional” social work. When I began college, I chose social work because I love people and want to serve them. More than anything, I want to live out my faith and share Christ’s love and hope with those who are hurting. I feel like social work is the most practical way I can live out my faith and follow God’s commands to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27) and “act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly.” (Micah 6:8) (Not that you can’t do those things in other careers; you certainly can. I just felt that this was the field I personally could best live them out.) The very core values of social work fit perfectly with what Scripture call us to: service, social justice, dignity and worth of human beings, importance of human relationships, integrity, and competence.
That being said, I am terrified of having the “stigma” of being a professional. Next semester, I will be doing the “Professional Semester” in Chicago. Though I am excited about it, I am also not looking forward to it. I don’t necessarily want to act (and dress) like a professional. But more than that, I also do not want the relationships I have with the people I serve to be “I am the professional and you are the client.” So I took four years of college and will have a degree—big whoop. I don’t want people to think I think I am somehow better than them because of that. Of course, I am thankful for the knowledge I have learned and the education I have received, I just am not sure how to use it in a way that does not cause a division between me and the people I work with.
This summer I really learned that what I want to do with my life is incarnational ministry—living among those I serve and being on their level. I remember how some of the family advocates at Joshua Station would talk in frustration about the way some of the social workers acted towards the residents. It seems like many of the social workers viewed the residents more like cases to be handled than beautiful, individual human beings with stories and strengths and families. My biggest fear in social work is that I will begin to see human beings—created in the image of God—as cases to be handled.
If, as a Christian, I am called to “walk as Jesus did” (1 John 2:6), how do I do that as a professional? Jesus was not a professional in a place of power (though He had immeasurable power as God’s Son); rather, he served and loved the people around Him in a very humble way. He ate with them, got dirty with them, and died with them. He did not have a 9-5 schedule and certain professional boundaries with the people. He did not dress in slacks and nice shirts and make appointments and refer to the people as “cases.” His service and love was a lifestyle, not a career. I guess that is what I am getting at. I don’t want social work to be my career; I want it to be my lifestyle. I do not want it to be a 9-5 job, I want it to be a 24/7 job. I don’t want to be professional; I want to be passionate.
So where will I be in 9 months? Only God knows. What do I want to do when I grow up? Love my God and serve the people He puts in my life. As for the details, I will trust God and wait.

Summer Book List

When I was not working at Joshua Station, going to classes, exploring the city, and hanging out with the other interns this summer, I was reading! Here is the list of all of the books I read this summer or am in the process of reading. If you are looking for a good book, I recommend one of the following: (my top three recommendations have *s next to them)

With Justice for All--John Perkins
Prayer of Jabez--Bruce Wilkinson
Butterfly in Brazil--Glenn Packiam
Just Courage—Gary Haugen
*Crazy Love--Francis Chan
In the Name of Jesus—Henri Nouwen
The Enneagram Made Easy--Renee Baron and Elizabeth Wagele
The Work of His Hands—Ken Gire
*Windows of the Soul—Ken Gire
To Own a Dragon—Donald Miller
SexGod—Rob Bell
Jesus for President—Shane Claiborne
Mother Teresa: Her Essential Wisdom—Carol Kelly-Gangi
Skin Game—Caroline Kettlewell
*The Noticer--Andy Andrew

Between Chapters

I have now been back home for about 2 weeks. I left Denver with so many great memories and amazing new friends. I learned and grew a lot. I am not sure I could ever really put into words on a silly blog all of the things I experienced and felt over my two months in Denver, but here are a few of the big lessons I learned this summer:

*I learned the importance of knowing a person's story. Every single person has a story to tell. One of the ways I learned this was by doing interviews at Joshua Station for families who were interested in the program. Each person had a different story with pain, joys, strengths, and weaknesses. You cannot judge a person until you know their story and where they come from. Another way I learned the importance of story: one of the things all of us interns did over the summer was to share our life stories with each other. I have never experienced a group of people being so vulnerable with each other before. Why can't we all be more vulnerable and authentic with each other? By listening to each of the other interns' stories and by sharing by own, I learned just how connected we all are and at the same time, learned to appreciate diversity in personalities and experiences even more than I did before.

*I learned to live the mystery and not try to find all of the answers. So often, we search for answers to the question of "why?" We try to explain God and life and things that are really beyond our comprehension. In one of our classes in particular (Street Psalms) we talked a lot about lamenting the brokenness in the world. We don't have all of the answers and never will. In fact, the more we study the Bible and learn about the issues in the world, we just come up with more questions. The solution is to simply live the mystery and trust a God whom we can never fully comprehend.

*I learned the importance of soul care, which is especially important in ministry to prevent burn out. In our class, Leading from Within, we learned tools we can use to care for our souls and be healthy individuals. One of the tools was taking an Artist Date (basically a date by yourself, doing something you love, like making something, watching a movie, or taking a walk. The possibilities are endless). We also learned the importance of journaling, solitude and silence. In addition, we learned spiritual practicies such as Centering Prayer and Lecto Divina. (Google them to learn more...it would take me too long to explain them here, but they are great!)

I will blog more as I do more processing and journaling. Now I am trying to shift gears as I prepare for my Senior year at Dordt. To think: 9 months from now I will be done with my college career and looking for a full time job. Crazy. Exciting. Scary.
All I can do is live the mystery and take the hand of my God who has led me this far.

They say that pictures speak more than a thousand words, so here are a few photos of some of my favorite people and memories from Denver:

Picture Captions:

1: Me, Bella, and Lizzy (a couple of Joshua Station kids) at Arts in da Hood day camp, where I helped the last week I was in Denver

2: Alex, Bella, Lizzy

3: Me with my friend and mentor, Rebakah

4: Me, Hannah, and Gina at Estes Park

5: Gina, Connie, Me, and Hannah at the Botanical Gardens

6: Downtown Denver from the air

7: All ten interns with the DUS director, Greg

8: Jenny and I on our helicopter ride

9: Me and Penny, the director of Joshua Station